Exactly 7 Years Ago

In this exact moment (10:32 a.m.), I was stepping out of the sanctuary at church to answer a call from my husband as I had been trying to call him all morning. Now that he was calling, it would be a call that I would hate to have to carry on. Let’s back up…..

On this morning, I would get up at 3am to be at work at 4, as I was an shift manager for a restaurant and today was truck day. Although, I hated getting up that early, I loved my truck crew and the driver who delivered for us. These guys made truck mornings worth getting up in the cold as it was nothing but jokes and laughs and freezing our butts off……of course we worked. Like any morning, I got up got dressed and went up stairs to check on my Cameron. He was “peacefully” sleeping something that he hardly ever does, so I left him alone and went to tell my sister who was there that I was leaving for work.

About 4 hours into my shift we are finishing up putting up stock. I get a call from my sister that something is wrong with Cameron and I believe she mentioned that he was not breathing. All I can remember is saying I have to go something is wrong with my son. I remember grabbing my keys and getting in my truck. I don’t remember anything else until I slammed my truck into park and ran up the stairs to my sons run. I believe my sister was on the phone with emergency dispatch and I think I had to talk to them as they where trying to tell me to do CPR and that help was on the way. Now, I have been CPR certified since 2004, but in that moment, that lady was speaking foreign languages to me. Time just stood still. I think less than 5 minutes later the EMT’s was there they had intubated him and we were off to the ER. In route, I called first my special friend Ethel and asked her if she could meet me at the hospital. I needed someone who could pray my strength and keep me calm. Then I called my husband but he didn’t answer. I figured he had been sleep. So, I called my dad and told him and he said that he and my mom would be right to the hospital.

We get to the hospital and they took him straight back and beginning life saving efforts. I vaguely remember talking to someone to give information about Cameron. Then we were asked to step out the room so they could working on him. They sat us in a room for what seemed like days but it was only for about 20-30 minute. In this time, I believe I called my husband again 10 more times and called his main office to try to get them to dispatch and emergency message to his Qualcomm for him to call me. That big bear was in hibernation cause he still didn’t wake up.

So about 40 minutes later in comes a doctor to tell me what I had already known, my son had passed. I thought he had passed at home but he had a faint heartbeat and they did all the could to bring him back. I asked if I could go back to see him. So, we gather ourselves to go back to see him. As I walk in the room there were my Pastors, standing in the room. I was amazed that they came all the way to the hospital for us, when they were supposed to had been getting ready to preach the word that morning. My Cameron was so peaceful laying on that bed. He didn’t have his disorder anymore, he could walk now, he could talk now, he was seizure free, and he was still forever smiling. I laid my head on him little lap and stroked his semi cold face.

If I could have stayed there forever I would have but I knew that God had taken him home and I needed to get home as I had to deliver the news still to my husband, but also to my daughter and my sister who found him. Everyone asked if I would be okay, and I stated yes, “I just need to get to church”. In that moment, all I wanted to do was go to church. I tried calling my husband again on the way home to no avail. My next call was to his special friend, his nurse, who just so happened to been off that night. I called her and all I could hear was her scream. She loved my baby just as much as we did. It hurt my heart to have to had to call her.

So, my parents drops me off and ask if I will be okay. I told them yes, I was going to tell Ty and my sister Shannon the news then go to church cause that’s the only thing I wanted to do. I went in and saw my sister I can’t remember what I said to her but I knew she knew. Ty was on the stairs and asked where was Cameron. All I can remember was her dropping to the steps and crying. I hugged her and told her it would be okay. I told her I was going to church and asked her if she wanted to go too. She went and put clothes on and we left. I didn’t even change out of my work uniform, I just went to church.

I walk into church and it was praise and worship going Cameron’s favorite part of service. He didn’t like the preaching lol. I was greeting at the door by Shimeca Wilson, someone who would be a great friend. She asked if I was okay and I told her what had happened and she just opened her arms and let me cry. After I cried some more, I went into the sanctuary and sat in the back of the church and cried. At 10:32, I got a call from my husband and I had to leave out to answer it. I asked him why wasn’t he answering my phone calls and he said he was sleep and asking why was everyone blowing his phone up this morning and asked where was I. I told him I was at church, then I had to deliver the news to him. I told him that Cameron had passed away. I believe he told me to stop lying. I told him that was why everyone was calling him. I told him I had even called his job to have them send on message on his QUALCOMM for him to call. I can’t remember the conversation after that. I went back into the sanctuary and cried the whole entire service. I don’t know what was said, but I just sat and cried. My brother came to church to support me and that meant a lot to me.

At the end of service, my pastor always opens the alter for those who need prayer, to be saved, etc. Before he could even get it out good I was at the alter and I just bawled and bawled and bawled.

Although, technically the 22nd the day he passed today is EXACTLY seven years since he left his earthly body for his heavenly body. And we dearly miss him so much.

SPECIAL THANKS: Through all of this, we, I neglected to ask my sister how she was doing and feeling after the fact as she was the one who officially found Cameron. We really didn’t stop and think about how this situation had affected her. It wasn’t done purposefully we just got consumed with Cameron’s death and the plans. It has truly affected her as she has developed anxieties over finding him. I just want to say, sis, I thank you and love you. When we wasn’t there you was there to help us and him. We truly appreciate everything you have done for him and we appreciate you for being there that morning.

GOD HAS TAUGHT US SO MUCH, EXCEPT HOW TO LIVE WITHOUT YOU!